Why It’s Hard Being a Bad 빛'(B****) According to Hwa Sa.
Hwa Sa for “AYA” the official music video by Mamamoo and RBW.
“I was just in bed after getting all the work done for the day but suddenly…I cried a lot.”
- Hwa Sa, [화사] 1st Mini Album [María] Track List (2020)
Hwa Sa is undoubtedly a powerhouse of a woman with her undeniable talent, heart-warming humility and illuminate sultry beauty! At the youthful age of 26, Hwa Sa has received grandiose accolades that are just proof of her iconicity with no signs of stopping.
Tracks like “Maria”, a self-titled song that featured on her first mini album, set the record for “First and only Kpop female solo artist to reach #1 on US, European and Worldwide iTunes Charts”. While “Bless U” and “I’m a 빛'”, trending tracks from her recent 2nd mini album, set the record for “First Korean female solo artist in 2021 to simultaneously enter the Billboard World Digital Song Sales Chart with two songs”.
When she’s not doing all that, some might say she “isn’t taking herself seriously” as she reportedly likes to spend her days in her house, wearing casual clothes, no make-up and eating beef tripe watching movies. However, it seems that even when she’s having a chill day she still takes herself seriously because one thing Ahn Hye-jin has is CONFIDENCE.
So let’s review. She’s hot. She’s talented. She’s accomplished. She’s humble. Yep, certified BAD B****. But, like any bad b will tell you, it’s not easy being one, and Hwa Sa is no different as she expresses the difficulty and pain she has(and still) endured being her own person and living confidently in her interviews and music.
Visuals of the official “Maria” music video by Hwa Sa and RBW
Knives, pens and bloody hearts, the official “Maria” is just a visual representation of what she goes through on a daily with media, haters and society constantly trying to criticise and bring her down. While she’s been able to serve and leave no crumbs left behind, she still experiences pain. The lyrics “No frame/No fake”, are direct references to what the Korean society has negatively labelled her, which means someone who is liberal and uncensored. Her unapologetic and genuine nature seems to rub people the wrong way, as Korean society seem to believe that you need to be a little censored and conservative. Hwa Sa has reportedly cried a lot over these lyrics as she wishes people could see that there is more than one way to live life. Later she says in the song “I’ll change crisis into opportunity” which suggests that she’ll take it upon herself to help them see by just being herself.
As if the haters outside weren’t enough, bad b’s even have to deal with the haters inside too. “LMM”, which stands for “Losing My Mind”, is a direct reflection of the inner conflicts and struggles and the overall anxiety that derives from these struggles Hwa Sa has to deal with. She criticises herself, which obviously knocks her confidence. This is represented visually in “LMM”’s music video when, among all the arrows that are being casted on to her, she sets an arrow onto herself and strikes herself , where it seems other arrows casted by others failed to do. Showing us that she cuts herself the deepest.
Hwa Sa behind the scenes of “Maria” the official music video.
“I noticed that I am inclined to push myself to the purpose, the place where I mistreat myself with the intention to attain what I would like, and I get pleasure by doing this.”
But, like the true Queen that she is, she continues to do the bravest thing anyone can do: be herself, confidently. “Maria”, “LMM” and her most recent mini album “Guilty Pleasure” shows us that Hwa Sa has an endless pool of inner-strength that she regularly pulls from."
“My self esteem was on the ground…fortunately at some point I found my pace back. Why did I [write] the lyrics for “Maria” if I wasn’t going to live by them.”
While “Maria” and “LMM” speak about the negative experiences she endures from both the public and herself, they are also odes to herself that she is ultimately a beautiful, determined and strong person.
Hwa Sa for “Guilty Pleasure” concept photos (2021).
Hwa Sa’s new album shows great growth in not only her sound but herself. One key message from her eclectic yet thoughtful work of art is that life is full of ups and downs and even grey areas if you look hard enough. Even her smash hit “I’m a 빛'(b)” cleverly plays on the word “빛'“ and “bitch”, as the Korean word sounds like bitch when translated in English (which is negative) but when translated in Korean means light (which is positive).
On the rise tracks “FOMO” and “Bless U”, the other two songs that feature in her 3 track album “Guilty Pleasure”, are final and delicate words of reassurance to us (the other bad b’s) and herself. The lyrics “Don’t Fear/Don’t fear the shadow (I will light you up) / Don’t fear the shark (I’ll defeat it) / Don’t fear anything, I’m always in here” from “FOMO” just show us that no matter what comes her way she can be rest assured that she has herself to be comforted by and to get strength from.
If you love Hwa Sa as much as I do, here are some of other artists I’m listening to:
Written and edited by Naledi Modipa.
